If you’ve read my earlier blogs, you will know that we have recently been blessed with our second beautiful baby boy. And I can safely say whether it's your first, second, third or more, life certainly changes after having a baby, no matter how many you already have!
You might have gained a few extra pounds. Your wardrobe and fashion sense might be completely different now. And your bank balance might dip a little. But this tiny miracle you’ve created soon helps you forget about that!
Trust me, if you are still mid-pregnancy, or in the early stages after your newborn’s arrival, you are very quickly going to be focusing on your new life. And the whirlwind of positives will blow you away.
So, let me tell you a few things about how life changes after having a baby in my experience.
I am very mindful that not everyone is lucky enough to have children of their own, so I’m incredibly grateful for the changes that my body has gone through during and after my pregnancies.
Nature has always fascinated me. The way we can create another human being, wrapped up safe inside us. It’s bound to have an impact somewhere. And if I’d gone to the gym more often, I might now be able to say my muscle memory (or lack of!) which I think I’ve mentioned before, is impeccable.
But to be honest, I am proud of the stretch marks and mummy tummy. Because nothing takes away the exhilaration of having a baby, and watching this little person developing and growing in front of you.
As a couple, the bond that you build through the pregnancy and birth, the mutual respect you learn, and the way you simply pull together to work out your routine, is unlike anything else you go through together.
I’m not saying it’s all hearts and flowers. It can be challenging. It can be exhausting. But once you have your new family around you and you look at your tiny bundle with such pride and a deep, deep sense of emotion, you can’t help but smile together.
Relationships do change with the birth of a baby though. Some dads struggle to deal with the attention of their wife or partner now being completely with the baby. Others see in their baby’s mother a newfound sense of awe, and attraction too.
But one piece of advice I would give in all relationships is to keep communicating. It can be easy to get so wrapped up in your new routine that you forget each other. But talking things through is so important, and will make it so much easier. Don't forget the odd date night too!
Talk to each other, to your friends and family. Even the person over the road as you’re out walking baby to sleep. It’s amazing how many more people will speak to you when you have a baby with you. And it’s such a wonderful feeling to be able to share your joy.
Friendships and Social life
You might have been the couple who were seen out every weekend, invited to every social event going in the past. But don’t be surprised that staying in becomes the new going out, and you find that being tucked up in bed by 9pm on a Friday is now your idea of perfect!
I know it’s slightly different at present, and we’re not going out as much now as we did with our first son. It’s lovely to show your baby off to friends and family but under normal circumstances, life sure can get busy.
Make some ‘down time’ together for you and your partner. Find some peace and relaxation for yourself. But also, work around your new routine and don’t cut yourself off from your friends for too long.
It’s great if some of your friends have young children too, as you can socialise with them whilst the children entertain each other. And even better to be around new mums who are going through some of the same phases as you!
Love and Emotions
As a new mum second time around, I’ll be the first to admit that having a baby is a rollercoaster of emotions.
At first you think you can’t possibly love another human being as much as you love your husband or your partner. But you just do. Then baby number two comes along, and you worry that you won’t have enough love to go round. And out of nowhere comes this new wave of emotion and unconditional love, just the same.
Here's a good one - trying to keep a sense of ‘normality’ whilst looking after your newborn and other little ones; the house needs tidying; the shopping still to be done. It can get a little bit overwhelming. Even for the most organised, logical and unflappable! It's normal, believe me.
And movies! Gosh, how many times have you watched a film and not flinched at the most romantic or sad parts? Now, suddenly you’re overflowing with tears at those same parts, for no apparent reason. Yes, you laugh about it afterwards, but at the time you feel like you’ll disappear under the Kilimanjaro of tissues!
But other times, you find this strength from somewhere to deal with things that might have scared you before. You find yourself doing things you would never have done by yourself. Having a baby somehow makes so much more in life become possible.
Having a baby means every day is special
My boys do something new every day that amazes me, and they make every day special.
Even though our second little man came along not too long after his big brother, it was quite easy to forget the mannerisms and funny things a newborn baby does!
Our two make each other giggle. They keep each other highly amused. And I never thought there could be such a protective bond between them.
I wasn't convinced after our first that we would become a family of four. But now, I'm happy to say he persuaded me, the timing was right, and life is all we hoped for and more. Having a baby certainly changed our lives, and we are very lucky to have all we have.
Take care, until next time,